Habits That Stick
I’ve wanted to write a blog post about setting goals and starting new habits for a while, but I feel like the topic gets mixed reviews. Some people are goal-driven and like to build habits to help them accomplish their goals. Others are resistant to the idea and honestly don’t think much about it. I came across some rather alarming statistics about New Year’s resolutions, aka new habits, that provide some insight as to why. Take a look at this:
9% successfully keep their New Year’s resolutions.
23% of people quit by the end of the first week, 64% after the first month (according to a study with Australian and UK citizens), and 81% before the end of the second year.
Most people quit on the second Friday of the month, according to Strava, a running and cycling tracking app. They named this day “Quitters Day”.
43% of people expect to give up on their goals by February, which explains the relatively high quitting rate in January.
Here’s the reasoning for why people give up on new habits.
35% of people attribute losing motivation as the top reason for giving up, followed by being too busy (19%) and changing their goals and priorities (18%).
The main reason why people fail is the timing of New Year’s resolutions. While people want to achieve change, they have yet to be ready to commit fully.
Successful individuals reported more stimulus control and willpower. Social support and interpersonal strategies became important after the first six months of pursuing the goal.
Successful individuals are likely to experience 14 slip-ups during a 2-year interval, indicating that resilience or the ability to bounce back from setbacks is essential for goal success.
I fell somewhere between the achiever and the quitting group for years. I loved the idea of setting goals, starting new habits, and certainly the results of accomplishing these goals or at least the picture in my mind of the results. However, year after year I would fail at most of my goals. I would always start out with good intentions but would fizzle out as the year went on only to hit reset on January 1st. Then I came across an idea that I’d never heard before that would dramatically change my success rate. Pastor Craig Groeschel did a teaching about keystone habits based on a book he read called “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg. The teaching started a change in me that would lead to not only starting but also sticking to habits and accomplishing goals. So, what is a keystone habit?
According to Charles Duhigg, keystone habits are habits that automatically lead to multiple positive behaviors and positive effects in your life. These habits spark “chain reactions that help other good habits take hold.” In other words, building a keystone habit is like knocking down the biggest domino — it will automatically knock down the other dominoes as well. For example, according to research, regular exercise (at least 3 times per week) is a keystone habit that triggers people to start eating better, have more patience, be less stressed, consume less alcohol, smoke less, and be more productive at work. Furthermore, it contributes to a better mood and better sleep quality. Some other examples include prayer/meditation, planning your day, sleep, and following a morning routine. Establishing these keystone habits could be the key that unlocks the door to a disciplined life of habit and intention.
So, what is my keystone habit? I’m glad you asked. Simply put, it’s journaling. I’ve always loved journaling but have been very inconsistent with it over the years. Around six years ago I heard Pastor Craig mention that he uses a five-year journal so I did some research to find out what it was. I discovered that the five-year journal allows you to see the previous year’s entries on the same page and only allows space for a bite sized thought. My wife gave me one for Christmas and I immediately fell in love with it. My first year was better but still spotty and every year has gotten better and better. Last year I only missed six days of journaling which I’m super proud of. Here are a few additional things I do with my journaling time. First, all of my entries are prayers. I have a time in the morning where I read scripture or a reading plan from the YouVersion Bible app followed by a prayer entry into my journal. That’s how I’ve always journaled and I love looking back to see what I was praying about in previous years. Second, I have a section in my journal where I record all of my goals, people/things I’m praying about, things I’m grateful for, thoughts from books and podcasts that resonated with me, etc. This is helpful for me because I’m able to see the things I’m working towards every day. I’m not guessing at what I want to accomplish, I have it right in front of me. I also record my progress beside each goal and record each answered prayer. This helps me track my progress or even when I fall short, which happens often. Journaling has been the catalyst for me achieving many of the goals I set each year. Maybe it’s the recording part, the structure of it, or something else. All I know is that it has led to not just setting goals but to achieving them as well.
I was watching a show recently called Limitless with Chris Hemsworth on Disney Plus. I highly recommend it. In the show Dr. BJ Miller made this statement that really resonated with me. He said “We tend to treat life as a “right” that we have by virtue of birth. Life is a gift. Be grateful for every moment. Life is happening right now!” This is why setting and achieving goals is so important to me. I want to live life to its fullest right now. I want to be intentional with my time. I want to be present in every moment as much as possible. I want to be a good steward of my health by exercising and eating healthy. I want to be a good steward of my mind by learning as much as possible. I don’t want to take a single relationship with family or friends for granted. I want to see as much of God’s beautiful creation as possible. And I want to live and love like Jesus every step of the way. If I can do it, you can do it. Start small, give yourself room for do-overs, and before you know it you’ve developed a habit that will be life changing. Then rinse and repeat.